I want to address one of the easiest game changers I can think of in any relationship and particularly marriage. This is like one of those 3 ingredient meals they propose on the cover of a magazine.
Here it is: Load the marriage with a 5 to 1 praise to criticism ratio. This according to John Gottman’s research is what it takes to keep a great balance in the relationship. Picture the marriage bank. Keep 5 deposits to every 1 withdrawal. Be aware of forming any judgments against your mate. Take an inventory of your habits around encouragement, optimism, sowing hope and determination into the marriage. What are you cultivating? “Beware of negativity. It is the predator. Some degree of negative interaction keeps the union strong. A certain amount of conflict is necessary to help couples weed out actions and ways of dealing with each other that can harm the marriage in the long run. But when negative energy includes great stubbornness, contempt, defensiveness, or withdrawal, the results can be devastating.” p. 67 Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, by Dr. John Gottman.
So go by a new pair of glasses if this is a problem for you. See what is good and right with your mate. Look a little harder. Look a little closer. Then learn to speak it. Use words when all else fails to get your message across. It is a game changer!